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What a rocky two days. Tonight I feel like I am able to take a little sigh of relief. While I have known and felt your prayers all along, they seemed especially palpable today. Today I thought-ok God! Change me, fix me, I will tell everyone how wonderful you are I PROMISE, but could you just help her stop hurting?!?
Tonight sweet Kaiya is resting peacefully. Thankfully she started eating right before she was going to get the tube put back into her intestines. (It worked its way out yesterday). For the rest of the day she nursed well, and soothed much more easily. Thank you, Lord. Not being able to comfort your baby is probably one of the most agonizing things ever.
God has been SO good to us. I can't believe the nurses here. There are several I want to take home in my suitcase and hope it's not a HIPPA violation for us to be friends after life in the PICU. Her EEG and EKG results were normal. Hallelujah. She got the tube out of her nose, and now only (only?) has the central line in. Her eye is very slightly, but nonetheless a teeny bit reactive. They have cream cheese muffins in the cafeteria. It's the small things.
So I haven't even finished my thank you notes from Kaiya's birth because, well, I'm just bad at that. So those of you who have been so ridiculously generous, please know my heart is so grateful, but I might need a couple months to express that to you in written form. :) The magazines, treats, fun make up, sock slippers, shower stuff, has been just amazing.
While we have made great strides this afternoon/evening-we are still in a serious state and will be for awhile yet. Her eyelid is slightly slit when "open". Please pray for continued healing and reduced inflammation of the retina/nerves/brain. Also her heart is having pretty consistent decelerations still. Through lots of dr. checks-this seems to not be too alarming, but they would definitely like her heart rate a little higher, and more consistent. And just for her comfort, as she seems to be struggling with reflux issues, pain from the removal of the ventilator, and headaches. So hard when you don't know what is hurting them.
Tonight I was thinking about the whole potter thing. "Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker...Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making?' Does your work say, 'He has no hands'?" Hopefully God is changing all of us, even maybe some of you. Molding us into something just a little better. (like, a cooler vase or sugar bowl or something)
10 weeks and 2 days ago God gave us such a precious gift in sweet Kaiya Lane. I feel like, especially at this time of year, I have been given the gift of her all over again.
May God richly bless you for the blessing you have been to us.
7 comments:
Heidi, although I don't know you and Mark personally, I know exactly what you're feeling with the roller coaster comparison. You have a positive outlook that I'm sure is helping you and Mark. You're right; God is so good. I remember my prayers, just to hold Matthew when he was in NICU and not have his heart racing or whatever. We are praying for you, all 3 of you.
Heidi, This is Michelle...John and Judy's daughter. My mom told me about Kaiya last week when you were admitted. I have been asking her everyday about how things were going, and tonight I just read your entire blog about the whole ordeal. Yesterday I asked her where you were living now (I had forgotten) and she told me. I immediately remembered Dr. Stoiko had gone there after leaving our PICU in Tulsa. All I can say is he is the BEST!!! I was so sad when he moved...anyway, God has blessed you with a fantastic doctor! I will pray specifically that her eye will work as God has created it to. Praise God her MRI and EEG are both normal. It's good to hear she is nursing well too...and making pee! (You know, thoselittle things mean alot!) Your family is absolutely beautiful...Tell your parents hi for me. Kiss your sweet girls. Love, Michelle
Heidi - so glad things are slowly, but surely looking upward. We continue to pray for you. God will use this in a mighty way. I heard a message once that said when you go through trauma, insted of asking God "why me?", pray "use me". I've tried that through some difficult times and it definitely works :-) Praying that God will strengthen your entire family!
Our prayers are with you! We love you!
So glad you were able to get some rest yesterday (when Mark posted) and so glad to hear about the positive results and progress Kaiya is making. You are exactly right, it's the little things. :) Thank you for sharing and thank you for keeping us posted. I was up last night randomly around midnight and just thought of Kaiya and started praying. I know many many others are doing the same. We will continue to pray for the things you listed and for you and Mark too. And precious Ava....what a trooper she is being, I'm sure. You are a blessing to all of us faithful blog readers and friends! Hugs and love to you all!
Heidi- what a sweet post. I am so thankful for the improvements you've seen in Kaiya but will continue to pray for her heart, eye, and the swelling that remains. I am praying that the day you get to take her back home comes quickly! Love and prayers...
Heidi and Mark.
Heidi I am Ann Lange's neighbor and I met you a while ago. I just want you both to know you you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your faith and strength are so inspiring.
Ann Masterson
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