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I felt like for the last several days we were circling the airport, and today we made a bumpy landing.
While I am immeasurably grateful for Kaiya's life and her being here with me, it is still so hard. She has been vomiting stomach bile and crying the most sad, raspy cry. She has seemed very agitated. Thankfully she is now sleeping peacefully in my arms. But my how it hurts to watch your baby hurt. At least before she was sleeping peacefully-
I also had a bit of a crash today. Sweaty, shaky, and exhausted. Got a little nap and some protein in and feel better...I AM taking care of myself, but can't imagine too many mamas that would want to leave at this point. She seems to only be peaceful when I hold her.
This will be a long road. But I was reminded today of Job saying, "shall we accept good from God, and not adversity?" Oh how God has been good to me. So during this process, however long it takes-I will continue to praise his name..and accept this adversity as a tool for change.
Thankful for each of you!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
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13 comments:
Praise the Lord for the positive news from Mark, earlier. It was so good to hear from you too, Heidi. As a mom, my heart hurts for you and wishes I could do more to encourage you! I'd be the same as you--just wanting to be there with her and not worrying about anything else. You are such a gift to Kaiya and Ava and no wonder she is most relaxed and calm with you....she's with her Mommy! What a blessing. So glad you are holding her. :) I'm praying for your health/energy and Kaiya's continued recovery.
eat some peanut butter!!!!!! and drink lots of water! i love you and im thinking about you!!!!! keep updating!!!!!!!!!
Heidi - So glad to hear that she's holdable now, and that you are able to bring her comfort as she begins her uphill climb of getting out of the hospital and healing in general. Still praying as hard as ever over here.
So glad to hear you are able to hold her...what a blessing for you and her! We continue to pray for a full recovery.
heidi, i am so encouraged by your faith. stay strong my friend.
by the way 96 Apparel is me. I didnt realize till after i left your comment that i was signed in as my hubby. whoops! :)
You guys are truly amazing. My heart just breaks for you, but I am praying for the Lord to give you HIS strength, as I'm sure you would agree, it's impossible to do it on your own. I'm so glad you're able to finally hold Kaiya. We will be praying that she will be as comfortable as possible...and that goes for you, too!
We have been praying for you since Aunt Wilma e-mailed last week. I was starving for news as she never e-mailed again. So glad you're blogging about all of this. Keep it up - it's cathartic and someday Kaiya will be able to look back and see God's hand directly at work in her life at such a young age. Thank you for your ongoing testimony and faith.
We're friends of Mel and Jess's, living in Alaska now. We are praying for healing for your daughter and asking that God draw you close to Himself during this time as He carries you thru this struggle. Your faith is inspiring as you trust God, release your daughter to Him and rely on His strength. Allow people to help you thru this and be the Lord's hands and feet to you.
Heather Crook
Heidi,
So glad to hear that you can hold your sweet girl. I know that raspy cry, and am so thankful that you can comfort her through this.
I am saying several prayers all throughout the day for her continued recovery. You are an amazing person, and mommy. Stay strong!
Maria
So glad she's in your arms! I can't even imagine how good that feels. :)
We live next door to Mike and Ali Moser. Ali told us about your family and we want to let you know that we are praying for all 4 of you.
As I was laying in bed this morning praying for you the passege in James chapter 1 came to my mind and I wanted to share it with you.
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
It is very evident in your updates how much you love the Lord. I pray that as horrible as this situation is that God will use it to encourage your faith, that lives will be changed because of you and your faith as you walk this journy with him, and that he will bring complete healing to your sweet little angel.
Love and Prayers from Wadsworth, Oh
While lying in bed last night, tired, yet not able to fall asleep, the Lord laid a scripture on my heart for you. Parts of it would seem contrary to a natural human response in a situation like yours (so much easier said than done!), but I believe it's the Lord's heart. This one comes from Philippians 4:4-9 (emphasis mine)
"Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord IS near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the PEACE of God, which trancends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace WILL be with you."
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