Posts
Warning. I'm just writing. I never do this so bear with me.
This week I have been deeply affected by a story of two brothers. (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/ryanandchadarnold)
One was dying of liver disease and his brother was a perfect match, as well as a healthy viable donor. Though the transplant surgery went well, the healthy, donating brother ended up dying. Gave his life so that his brother could keep his. I saw a picture of their family waiting during the surgery..and I thought-I know that feeling. I know the desperation in their hearts. I don't know what they're going through or how it feels, but I know that feeling. Sitting. Waiting. Needing God so desperately and begging and pleading him for his mercy. And I don't want to forget.
I keep up with the blogs of a few friends of kids with special needs. One family whose children are slipping away with a degenerative disease. The other who spend much of their time trying to figure out what is hurting their sweet baby. I don't know what that's like. But I know what it's like to feel desperate for your child. And I don't want to forget.
Lately Kaiya throws tantrums. She sits down in the parking lot at the grocery store. Ava whines. And whines. I talk to other Moms. We talk about the whining, the tantrums. And it's so easy to just hop on the lazy of river of life and complain and whine ourselves about this job we've been given. How bratty. I could have had it taken away. And I don't want to forget that. What an amazing gift these three beauties are. This life is. This whining is.
A year and half ago I watched a lifeless baby hooked up to a ventilator. It was awful. I remember Mark and I crying at her bedside. I remember nursing her for the first time after she was extubated. I remember the first time she smiled at me again (at 1:26 am). I remember Jesus healed her, and he comforted us, and he provided us with so much support in a town where we were new. It's easy to get caught up in the now. But I don't want to forget how it feels to have nothing and need what feels like everything. And sweet Jesus. He provides. Maybe not always how we expect. But he does. And that, I don't want to forget.
Pray with me for the family of Ryan Arnold. A father of three boys who will be raised without their Dad...and a wife who has no more partner. Pray with me for the moms who have to work every day to take care of a child with disabilities and wish that those sweet kiddos whining was their biggest problem.
You're also welcome to pray that I go back to my regularly scheduled blogging with no emotion. It's coming. Don't worry. :)
12 comments:
I love this. Thank you for sharing!
Therapeutic, isn't it?
Thankful for your miracle, and the precious perspective something so unthinkable can bring. Love you.
Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but I'm a little teary... Thanks for sharing- and thanks for helping the rest of us keep life in perspective.
I think I needed that. That was beautiful Heidi.
I like blogs with emotion. So emote on, Heidi! :) But seriously, this is so thoughtful and sweet and I think we all need to remember "our stories" and remember to share them.
Our worship band just sang this song by dc*b called, "Come and Listen". I adore this song and this line, "Let me tell you what He has done for me. Let me tell you what He has done for me. He has done for you. He has done for us."
I told my MIL that you consider her an angel and she got tears in her eyes! God bless sweet nurses who so lovingly care for our kids.
Cried through this whole thing. I don't know what people do without Jesus. How blessed we are to have each day with our little ones, our husbands, our parents, our friends and our colleagues. Thanks for writing this and not letting us forget about all of our many blessings.
Oh, my. Read this last night when I couldn't sleep and again this morning. This story has just wrenched my heart, but when I force myself to really think about Ryan's decision, and the real life example it is of Christ's love, it lifts my spirits.
Thanks for sharing this perspective and your own experiences and memories. It is a good reminder for me to cherish my time with my family and friends. Life is but a breath.
I am with Ninny... I don't know what people do without Jesus. I am thankful for my faith, for an eternal perspective, for a better ending.
1 Cor 2:9
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"
Heidi....
How quickly life can change, right? The best part is that Jesus remains the same even in the midst of total chaos and tragedy. Will was literally whining on my lap while I read your post-ha!-so it was such a good reminder of the treasure that was sitting right on top of me (even if I wasn't reading fast enough for his three year-old attention span). Thanks for sharing, and know that Kaiya's story is a tremendous testimony of God's power...I never get tired of thinking about it :).
Love you and your compassionate heart. Kaiya is a blessing and a precious gift from God...so glad you have her in your life...and A and R too! Thanks for the sweet reminder...we are SO blessed!
Beautifully written. What a great reminder. I always enjoy your blogs - "shallow" and deep ;)
I love this post. I love having the reminder of pain (as weird as that sounds). I am constantly reminded of my infertility, yet it makes me so grateful for my girls that I think it makes me more patient (sometimes). God always gives us pain so that we can understand others. It's wonderful that you can use yours to comfort others.
Thanks for the beautiful reminder, Heidi. I often struggle with those feelings of "survivor guilt" too, and when i struggle to remain patient, or discipline in love, I ask the Lord to bring back those painful memories in the hospital when we had so many unanswered questions. I'm grateful for you and your compassionate heart and godly perspective.
Post a Comment