Peanut Butter and Honey! (Happy Birthday, Kaiya!)

That's right angel. Welcome to a whole new world. Peanut butter will change your life.

Kaiya turned 1 last Wednesday. I am late to post, I think because it's hard for me to articulate how thankful I am for her life. Her life most certainly has changed my life, and the way I look at life. Sometimes I truly feel like I have survivor guilt. I know there are MANY people in far worse situations than we were...or people who deal daily with kids with special needs and cancer, and not knowing. And while our story lasted a much shorter time, it was still long enough to change us.

I learned how much comfort God gives to you, and can't imagine going through something like that without him. Even in the days where we didn't know if she would live, somehow the peace that transcends understanding really did fill us. I learned that our children really are not ours, and what a great blessing it is to get to be with them for however long we get to. I learned that people you have known for a short time can sustain you, and old friends 1,000 miles away can make you feel so loved you would think they were in the room. I learned what a fabulous man I married, and we have a family that should go down in history.

I feel differently now when I wake up in the night, or early in the morning, or when everyone is crying. (Although don't get me wrong, I still can often barely get out of bed!). Of course every life is a gift, but I'm so thankful for the opportunity I had to grow and appreciate that so much more.

I will stop now. And thank you for the chance for therapeutic writing. :) I am determined not to be one of those people who constantly refers to it in relation to everything, so this was my piece, and now I can be done. Happy Birthday to Kaiya! We love you so much baby girl.

The girl hasn't stopped smiling since she started. The first night after she was off the ventilator I was feeding her at 1:30 in the morning and she smiled at me. I called the nurse. :) I really believe she knows to smile for the camera. Such a happy girl!
We had a little party for her last week. She was really indifferent about the cake. Hmmm. She looks like her dad, so we know she IS ours, but that was weird. Eventually she fed herself some with a spoon. So lady like. Ava made up for her in cake consumption. We had a great day. We love you Kaiya!